Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Finding comfort without food

Can't believe i can find the courage to write this
I haven't been able to write in months

I've had it!
Enough is enough!
I'm letting go of the fear that has gripped me for so long
Fear of moving forward in my life
Fear of failure
Fear of looking "too" beautiful
Fear of losing another dear one

I have to learn to comfort myself without food.
This i have done over the past months since losing my dad.
I lost interest in my favorite things
Grew from a size 8 to a size 12 within months.
I found an inexplicable interest in anything that smelt or tasted good; Comfort eating they call it.

This is not not an epistle of how i plan to find myself again.
Its just a note to the universe that I'm done.

I'm letting go of doubt that i can be proud of my body again
I'm done feeling guilty and helpless
I'm done feeling mad at myself
I'm done finding comfort in that which is baked, grilled, chilled or cooked.
I'm done with FOOD.