Tuesday, November 30, 2010


In his hierarchy of human needs triangle, the great psychologist Sigmund Freud recognises the sense of self actualization as the peak and ultimate need of every human being.

This is the feeling of colossal satisfaction and optimal attainment. This is the feeling you get when you are working in the course of our life’s purpose

What is one’s life’s purpose?

To paraphrase the definition of my all time best author Paulo Coelho; your personal calling/Legend/destiny/Purpose is God’s blessing, it is the path that God chose for you here on earth.

It is the path that God in his infinite wisdom and knowledge, knows that you will find self actualization when you walk in it.

Your life’s purpose is your reason for living. It’s the reason you wake up every morning with and zeal to make a difference.

Your life’s purpose is that which you know and feel without anyone telling you that you ought to be doing.

Every Man’s (male and female) original purpose is in line with God’s will. This may sound controversial to some people but it’s the truth.

We were all born into this world with a purpose to accomplish but soon after, we are reshaped by our environment, family, culture, religion, life experiences and more often than not our true purpose is distorted from God’s original plan.

The society tells us that everything is impossible.

They remind us that God has cursed the ground so you must suffer to make a living (Gen 3vs17) let alone fulfil your destiny.

But they forget to remind us of his grace that is sufficient for us Luke 2 vs 22-32.

He said we worry too much. He reminded us that he the one who will provide us our daily bread (foods, clothes, money) 

he needs us to focus on the kingdom of God.

God is glorified when we do well and are prosperous so he will give you more than you need.

What we need to know is that the kingdom referred to here is the kingdom of God on earth which is God’s purpose for man on earth.

Remember that when Jesus taught us to pray he said Our Father.........Thy kingdom come, thy will(in our lives) be done on earth as it is in heaven .

Also our life’s experiences, especially not so good ones.

Limiting religious beliefs,

Cultural beliefs; valuing males more than females,

Fear of failing when we decide to pursue our destiny. Don’t kill your creativity cause of fear.
And so many more are all obstacles that stand in the way of our accomplishment of life true purpose.

How do we get back in line with our life’s purpose?

If you feel genuine happiness in your recent life course then you most likely are on the course of your destiny but when you feel like you have to wake up every morning not because you want to do something you love to do but just to make ends meet then you have taken the wrong curve somewhere.

I’m not saying you should leave your job, but take time out to think.

Ask yourself; what is it that if my basic needs are met, I will do gladly and stay up all night willingly to do.?

When you try to accomplish anything and you are getting unspeakable resistance, then you know that its value is immeasurable.

This is how it is when we decide to walk in the path of our life’s destiny.

We will face distractions, we will lose friends, but when we keep up with the fight for destiny.  We will ultimately win.

The secret is learning to stand up each time you fall.

On the journey of destiny these are the most important things that must be in your backpack.

Faith and Hope: You must believe absolutely in your dream.

Stand firm so that obstacles and storms of life cannot shake you.

Wisdom and knowledge: You need to seek understanding, ask for God’s wisdom.

Read, read and read. You will need the information somewhere along the line.

Patience and endurance: you cannot afford to opt out when the going is tough.

Character and integrity: a good name is better than silver and gold

Sheer determination and focus: you need to have a daring attitude; determination is the oil that keeps the engine of your dreams from knocking.

Walking in the path of your life purpose is like taking hold of the driver seat of your life.

Don’t seat in the passenger seat and give someone else control over your life; no matter how much they love you, they will make mistakes and most likely drive you in an unintended direction.

The right to live, dream and succeed is yours.

Even though the odds are obviously against you, keep playing this game of destiny because you will surely win.

When you lose friends in this course, don’t worry you will make new ones.

Don’t get carried away pursuing material things.

Listen to that soft yearning inside your heart today before it dies completely. 

It’s good to have fun relax, travel and enjoy life but when you do all this and still feel something lacking; there is an action to the taken.

The last but not least important gadget in your backpack is planting/sowing a seed.

Ever wondered why people who have attained success get into one philanthropic work or the other? It seals the deal for you and gives you a divine covering.
You don’t need to have a million to start giving. You can volunteer your professional skills to help others, give out clothes you don’t need, help homeless people. 

Start where you are today.

Start the journey on the path of your destiny today and soon enough you will reap the rewards of destiny.

God bless you.

Monday, November 29, 2010


An emotional hangover is what you feel when you try to let go of an emotion you have held onto for longer than you should.

This weekend, I experienced my first (and last, i hope) emotional hangover.

We ended our relationship more than two years ago so that we could move on with our lives.

He wanted to get married, I wanted to pursue a career, and our life paths seem to go in different directions.

We remained close friends and as often as possible I prayed for him to find a good wife.
Well, he did get married this weekend and I was there.

Truth is had a hard time making a decision to attend the wedding cause I felt it was out of place for me to.
I decided to go cause as friends it was the right thing to do.

When I got there I did not know what to feel  or how to act till I saw the couple dancing down the aisle.
One part of me said; it’s your loss girl!

Another part said, just be cheerful for him.
I was truly happy for him.

The time preceding this was not exactly the best time of his life as someone whose close friends were married and he felt kind of odd.
I was happy that at last he got what his heart desired.

I spent a few hours, ate some free food, danced on my seat then i decided to leave.
As I headed out the door of the hall, my heart swelled inside of me and tears started to roll down my eyes.
This was definitely not tears of joy.

All the way back home, the tears kept rolling down.
I tried to give myself an explanation but failed to.

Then it dawned on me...you are having an emotional hangover girlfriend, crying over spilled milk.  

Deep down inside me I began to realise that even though we were not dating,I still held a part of him for myself and I did obviously for too long.

To recover from my hangover, I began to ask myself realistic questions like; forget the glitz and appeal of getting married, was that what I really wanted right now? My answer was still a reverberating NO!

This stirred me out of my wistful state and helped me pass through this hangover an even better person.

So I say to you today,

Look inside of your heart, what emotions are you holding on to?

Who have you not forgiven for what they did early this year?

No matter how hard it may seem( it could be hard), the hangover from holding onto it inside for too long in your heart sure is not an experience we would like to go through.

Learn to let this go cos you can’t control anything or anyone else’s actions or reactions but yours.

Learn from my experience,

Let it go today.

You will be glad you did.

God bless you

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Big thank you

Go on,take a peek,
even for one tiny second,
you know you want to,
you know you'd love to,
thats the voice in my head,
telling me what to do,
its hard to resist the temptation,
to see how many are reading,
how many have gazed through,
or at least who have dropped by,
to take a peek at what this young lady has to say.

So i give in,
i check the stats.
hundreds and hundreds pouring in to view this blog page.
astounded at the numbers and a bit intimidated by it also.
i wonder what i have to say to all this wonderful,learned,intelligent people.
i try to write but my fingers fail me.
i try to type but the keyboard looks more complex,
i have managed to put this little note together.
to you,yes you reading.
Thank you for taking the time.
I love you all


Thursday, November 25, 2010


This is just a little piece about what I’m thankful for.

Sometimes it’s easy for me to think that someone else has more reason to be thankful than i do.
Truth is no matter what circumstances I am going through, the single fact that I am among the living is enough reason to be thankful.

I could live the healthiest lifestyle ever known, go jogging in the morning, eat little or no carbs, do yoga and meditate; still i cannot guarantee that i will live the next minute.

I have learnt that the art of thanksgiving is the most powerful kind of prayer.
When I give thanks for things I have and things I don’t have, I set myself up for greater and better things to come.

I know I cannot remember all you have done for me but please God forgive my forgetfulness.
I thank you cause I know that next time I will remember even more to give thanks for.

Please spare me a few minutes of your busy schedule and listen to my prayer of thanksgiving.

I am grateful for family,

I am grateful that I found love.

I am grateful that I have learnt to trust and commit.

I am grateful that when I walk down the street people still find courage to say you are beautiful.

I am grateful that even though some people feel I am not qualified for my job, they still admit that I do it better than them.

I am grateful for good friends even those who feel they are in competition with me.

I am grateful for education.

I thank you for internet and computers

I am grateful that I am in
good health and can afford to have ice-cream and cake when I want to.
I am grateful for the little pouch of excess fat I noticed on my stomach last week; cause I know that you will give me the energy and drive I need to go to the gym

I am grateful that I was alive to witness the swearing in of the first black president of the USA even though I’m Nigerian.

I am grateful cause my country is getting better and only good leaders will be elected next year.

I am grateful that i can give to those in need even if it’s just Ten naira once in a while. Cause I know you will bless me enough to give on an even larger scale.

I am grateful for inspiration to start my day and motivation to function optimally.

I am grateful for nature and all around me

I am grateful for all those reading this right now cause I know you will bless them for taking time out to visit my blog.

I am grateful for phones

I am grateful for movies especially those with Julia Roberts in them.( I love her)

I am grateful for books especially the Bible and anyone from Paulo Coelho.

I am grateful for music especially by Kirk Franklin and Cece winans.(bless them).

I am grateful for so much more than I can ever bring to account. Remember God this is just the tip of the Iceberg of what you have done for me.

For those of us who do not have a specific date set out as thanksgiving, you can pick out a day yourself.

Make it a memorable day like your birthday, wedding anniversary, or a day you were divinely healed from a stubborn illness or miraculously saved from a life threatening accident.

When you pick out this date, mark it on your calendar and spend time on this day every year giving thanks.

I pray that you will always have a reason to give thanks.

Now to my American friends.


Wednesday, November 24, 2010


Our mothers used to wear knee-length dresses, now we wear thigh-length dresses.

 Go to popular fun spots in Lagos like the Silverbird galleria and the palms,  you will see that the younger generation have grown bolder because they now wear bum-length dresses.  Some even wear jeans with their underpants hanging out.

With this trend and path we are taking I wonder what kind of fashion will be left for the generations to come. In all of this keeping up with latest fashion trends, what would you say is going too far? Or better put, crossing the line.

You may say what line? Who put the line in place?

Our generation is different than theirs so let them let us be. But really truly you know that this is a problem that we need to address soonest.

Though I’m not a fan of comparing past and present generations, I can say that dressing morals were much more acceptable in our parent’s time. Ironically they taught us what we know directly or indirectly so what are we talking about.

Fashion magazines, television, and all forms of media have made this indecency appear cool. Sometimes it feels like they are out to recruit believers.
Many have become slaves to fashion as some have to money. Breaking personal values all because they want to follow latest fashion trends.
The African culture and morals have been thrown into the wind.

The other day at the Silverbird’ s  30th anniversary celebration, I arrived early with two friends wearing my beautiful LBD (which is knee length by the way). We pick great seats only to have this young lady clad in a Top (lace top, meant to be worn with jeans, pants or leggings) come sit in front of us.
The sight was truly offending because it barely covered her bum and she would stand up severally to greet people. Good thing I decided to refocus my attention to the event.

But let’s talk candidly, how will you feel when your 13 year old decides to go to the movies or family gatherings wearing bum shorts?

Will you feel like a responsible parent who is doing their job right?
Or, would you feel like you lost control over them somewhere along the line.

How can we reduce this fading necessary moral? How can we instil the discipline to dress appropriate into the younger ones?

I remember a few years back when some legislators in Nigeria wanted to make a law to curb what they call indecent dressing and the public’s anger was flared up.
Some said that even those pushing the law, dress indecently to so they had no right to propound such a law.
Others said that it breaches the individual rights to freedom of expression.

Do we have to go as far a making a law? What is the responsibility of family in addressing this issue?
As I Christian, I believe that these are morals that should be solidly instilled in our children before they grow up and leave the house.

I personally believe that when I dress up to leave home, I must be comfortable. I will not wear I dress that I have to pull down/adjust every 3 minutes.  I make sure that when I sit down, I have my thighs and underpants covered (that’s why they are called underpants) covered.

Is it cool to walk out of your house half naked?

What is going too far? What is crossing the line?

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


You really want this to happen for you. You really, really do. So you start to think about it. Stop!
What exactly are you thinking about?! The desire you want fulfilled or the lack of it?

It has been said that where you focus more attention to, is where you will focus more energy on, and eventually what you will have come to you.

We cannot help but think about what we want out of life. We will
always have desires so we need to know that our thinking angle affects
the outcome of our desires. 

There are two ways which we focus our attention.

We are either thinking about our desires.This helps us find new ways to act so that it becomes a reality. Or
We are thinking of the Absence /Lack of our desire. This way we tend to get discouraged and sometimes feel defeated.

How can you know where your attention truly is?

Your feeling and emotions are like a life's compass, pointing you towards your dreams. They tell you when you are going in the right or wrong direction so you need to pay attention to them.
Your emotions are not beyond your control so you need to be consciously aware of them. 

Unlike some school of thought believe, this does not make you weak or fragile in anyway. It makes you stronger because you can take charge of your emotions, redirect your thought and steer your life in the direction you want it to go.

Positive feelings/emotions such as

Are all an indication that you are on the right path of creativity and
fulfilment of your desires.

 Meanwhile negative emotions such as

Feeling overwhelmed/Irritation
are all indicators that you are in the wrong path and if you don't change course soon you will miss out on the fulfilment of your true heart desires.

You get what you pay the most attention to

Your treasure (desire) is where you heart is.
The more attention you pay to a subject, the more actions you will take in line of that subject and subsequently your results will be
related to that subject.

For example,you can't desire more money but only think of how miserable you will be if you don't make more money these will cause you to feel negative emotions such as outlined above and this will do you no good. it only make you lack the vitality you need to take any right action to help your desire materialize but when feel positive emotions such as optimism, faith, hope, appreciation; you will be driven and motivated to take actions
and will be rewarded positively.

We should also note that when we feel negative emotions, we should not
beat ourselves up because we feel that way. They are like placards
telling you that you are headed in the wrong direction, action signals
pointing out to you that you need to redirect the ship of your
thoughts so you can achieve those dreams you really want.

Motivation is the energy that turns ideas into reality.....Poju Oyemade

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


 A woman’s body, a master piece

It has initiated researches.
It has stirred up controversies
It has made portraits attain fame and fortune
It is adorned and revered by all.
 A woman’s body is the definition of perfection.

It’s been classified into shapes and sizes
Pear, hourglass and all the likes
But no matter what shape yours falls into,
Or what size defines your endowments
You are beautiful as you are

You are crafted with utmost care and precision
Each part complementing the other,
Adornments on every angle,
Ornaments on every side,
You are the epitome of God’s creativity

You are endowed with hidden treasures
That only the chosen can explore
You are armed with an arsenal of power and pleasures
To build up or tear down
The sole ability to give life our kind

A woman’s body is to be treated
With the utmost respect and care
To be pampered and cherished
To be treasured by all
Ços tis where God put his final seal on all creation