Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Cheating :Can Your Relationship Survive Infidelity?

Cheating can happen in any relationship, no matter how perfect it seems from the outside.
It could rock or ruin a relationship.
It is absolutely possible to get over infidelity with honesty and communication and the key to
moving on is for both partners to be committed to doing so.

Why do people cheat?

People have individual and personal reasons for cheating on each other . We cannot conclude that everyone who cheats has a wandering eye as there are usually deeply rooted psychological reasons at work.
As humans, our needs differ and at different levels. Infidelity happens when a need at a deeper level is not being met within the relationship.

This doesn’t mean that it’s your fault if you’ve been cheated on. And it doesn’t always mean that it’s your errant partner’s fault either, just that the relationship isn’t filling both of your needs at that moment.
It’s not as simple as you doing or not doing A, B, C and the result being he/she cheated. Maybe it’s something from your partner’s past that’s created a need to cheat that you don’t know about.

Also it’s important to realise that there are many definitions of relationship so you need to make sure you’re on the same page as your partner and that what’s important to you – perhaps fidelity – is as important to them. 

Can you get over Cheating?

Communication and Honesty is the key once infidelity has been uncovered.

Both partners have to be open and honest, talk through what happened and find out exactly why the other person cheated.

A lot of people who get caught cheating just want to brush the whole thing under the carpet like it never happened and that is very dangerous step to take.

The key at this stage is that the person who has cheated doesn't shut down or keep quiet but properly explains what has gone on and why it has happened.

It is also important, that the person who has been betrayed gets all the anger they feel out of their system. Otherwise the infidelity will be like a festering sore which neither partner can move on from.

How to deal with Infidelity

Give yourself time to breathe and think. Don’t take any action in anger; you would most likely regret it. 

Being on the receiving end of infidelity can be a real blow to your self-confidence. 

So you need to know that it’s not necessarily something wrong with you, it’s something wrong with the relationship so try to remove yourself from the equation.

If you’re dealing with infidelity there are many factors to consider, such as if there are children involved. It makes it harder to walk away from the relationship.

A lot of people can’t bring themselves to forgive their partners and end up as paranoid wrecks who are clinging to a relationship they cannot trust in any more.

But she’s also seen people become paranoid wrecks, clinging to a relationship when they aren't able to forgive and trust again.

My advice is to immense yourself in positivity and prayer. Do those things that increase your positive energy and if you intent to forgive your partner, do it together. It would build love and trust in the relationship again.

By Oma Nnabuihe

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