I was inspired to write this post after a recent occurrence that had me and my girlfriends literally bullied off a queue by young men.
While I recognize that Chivalry is as good as DEAD in this generation, I've met a good share of courteous men in my lifetime.
Ladies, have you ever had a man walk through a door ahead of you and lets it slam close behind him RIGHT IN YOUR FACE?
Or a bunch of guys walking beside you for minutes while you obviously struggle with a heavy box or bag you are carrying?
I'm sure 90 percent of you will say yes.
Don't get me wrong .I'm not saying women are weak and always need help from men. All I'm asking is a little politeness from the male-folk.
There's a myth that "Nice Guys don't get the girl". That's ridiculous cause They MARRY the girl.
Being Courteous is not only attractive to women, its a great way to show support.
The little things matter most to women; Opening the door,Saying “thank you,” or “No, really, after you,” does not take that long and can give women, or people in general the feeling that someone acknowledges or appreciates them.
You might think ladies don't expect these "nice" things but they do and LOVE IT!
Women will look at you differently and with a little more respect when you do.
Is asking men to be more courteous asking for too much?
By Oma Nnabuihe
Ok!!! This is truly worthy of sharing. Permission please.
ReplyDeleteYes you can share the link. Thanks
DeleteFirst off, there remains a good number of courteous people, men and women....
ReplyDeleteTruth be told nice men are not appreciated... Like u said, "nice guys don't get to take the girl home"..
The attitude of the "average" girl in these times, is a heap of a turn off, but don't get me wrong, men will still go out of their way to be nice.....
Now you are twisting my words. Nice men are absolutely appreciated.Would be hard to find a woman who doesn't like nice things being done for/to her.
DeleteGreat article. I don't mind courteous man at all...
ReplyDeleteZanele
Nice post, but i dont see the gentlewomen either? When last did a woman see u with a boner and offered to help?
ReplyDeleteso offering a man sex is what makes one a gentlewoman? eeewwwww!
DeleteIf a nice thing is done for a woman, the next thing on their mind is that the guy is picking interest in them. They start giving multiple signal enough to crash an aircraft.
ReplyDeleteVery nice write up. I remember helping a very young guy I totally do not know carry his groceries for him. He said "You are a real Samaritan, thanks a lot". I think being courteous is good but if the person only does it with women then that's a warning sign that he may not be genuine.
ReplyDeleteThis is funny. And I know it, because I'm a nice guy. I often help people lift things, hold doors open and stuff like that. It means nothing to me. It's not a big deal, and it doesn't hurt anyone.
ReplyDeleteOf course there are times when I'm thinking about me, and only me. I'm only human, so you can't always expect me to be mindful of something I usually do without thinking.
Anyway, that's not what I wanted to point out. The saying "Chivalry is dead", while true, is used so wrongly it hurts. The chivalric code had very little to do with how men medieval times treated their women. It was about how a knight should behave. It included things like "show the infidel no mercy" and "do not recoil from the enemy", as well as "respect and defend all weaknesses", and "be generous to everyone".
The fact is, in the chauvinistic, blood riddled days of "chivalry" women were courted and sexed, and raped quite a lot, as well as being killed at a husband's whim. Women who were treated well were the anomaly, not the norm, so let's not behave as if the men have changed. We haven't. There's just a difference between an actual man and the ideal.
Of course, the boys who bullied you and your friends out of the queue were another kind of anomaly, as most guys won't go to such lengths to demonstrate their foolishness, still, their action may be described as "cavalier", can't it? And cavalier is formed from the same root word as chivalry, only it was coined in a different era.
I like the way you said it: Nice guys MARRY the girl. Most single girls have 'sense', and I for one will not have anything to do with a guy who acts like he was not brought up right. If for some reason he refused to learn those manners at home, he should learn it from the church. We women are princesses, daughters of the King and we should be treated as such. Thanks Oma, great piece.
ReplyDeleteWe still dey here o! lol
ReplyDeleteSingle nice guys carry last all the time. It is the single attached ones that all the ladies seem to want.
ReplyDeleteChivalry isn't dead though, my upbringing means that I really cannot see some things and walk by regardless of how much I would want to. Post makes a lot of sense though but then...
Nice guys don't get the 'girls' they marry the girl.
Lol @ "Single nice guys carry last all the time" .
DeleteHope they all learn from the "single attached ones that all the ladies seem to want" that Nice guys don't get the 'girls' they marry the girl and Chivalry can bridge the gap
"Nice guys marry the girl"
DeleteYeah after she wasted her best years a in her twenties sleeping with bad boys and passing up the decent men!
Er thanks but no thanks I think I'll pass
I agree dear. very correct
ReplyDelete